Deep

I ache
with the absence of you
With eyes shut
I try to forget your face
But to no avail
You remain,
a piece of me
A solitary resonance 
echoing through my veins
I feel you
in the very breath
that leaves my lips
My nights are spent
wide awake
while you meander around
in my thoughts
Leaving a trail
of overwhelming sadness
And when I have fallen
into a deep slumber
hoping to escape
those melancholy thoughts of you
There you are,
creeping into my dreams
Attaching yourself
to every image I can muster
Projecting your very essence
into the depths of my soul
Leaving a permanent footprint
down every road I venture
And I awake in the morning,
Sinking further
into the depths of insanity
Plagued by those
grim memories of you
And what might have been

Tear me down

The scene is the same, though the calendar on the wall shows a different date.  I watch your mouth, words flowing out like vomit after a bad hangover.  Trusting you with eyes closed and lips parted, I’ve let you kiss me a thousand times.  Those words sting my ears and I can see right through you.  I question you, pleading for the truth, and all you can do is smile that familiar smile, denying what we both already know.  I know what happens next.  You will  hold me and utter those famous words.  A meaningless apology from a man with no heart.  Deep down I know you will never change, but a part of me, a very small part, hopes that one day you will.  I lay down on the bed, needing space from you and your constant betrayal; Allowing myself to be lulled into a numb state where the world around me meshes together like chalk art attacked by rain.  I add another layer to my already distanced self and fall asleep in a puddle of tears. 

Fireworks

Things are different now

in this decrepit little house

wedged between a chop shop and a promiscuous alley

There are no familiar smells of home

only the stench of filth and decay

The bars on the windows, 

remind me I can no longer be naive about the world

The tall cement walls 

make me feel more like a prisoner than an inhabitant 

And yet I am content 

to curl up in a chair and stare out the window 

past the dirt stained screen and the power lines 

over the wall and up at the night sky

The sky is my muse

allowing for endless possibility 

I wanted nothing more than to watch the fireworks

Not from a fancy place

or a crowded park among strangers, 

Sitting on the roof would have sufficed

sipping cheap wine out of a paper cup 

and feeling like it was just you and I

Rooftop rebels

You missed them all

the white ones 

that start in a screech and end in a flash

The purple and red 

that make no noise at all then suddenly appear before your eyes

like a  burlesque  dancer 

revealing just enough to keep you interested

The green ones that fizz out slowly 

and the blue ones that circle, leaving a dusty trail

The ones that glitter like stars

And the finale that makes you sit on the edge of your seat

A fantastic array of light

each one more beautiful than the next, 

as if to outdo one another

The sky goes dark 

No longer filled with popping lights

or distant crackles and booms

I sit in silence

With no one to lean on

Or smell the dab of perfume 

I placed on the back of my neck

The end of a miraculous show

And I have never felt so lonely

A little bird told me

I walked atop a hill today

But found tall buildings in my way

I stretched way up on my tippy toes

And still a cluttered skyline arose

I saw a higher place ahead

I thought I'd give that one a tread

I made it to the top to find

No emerald mountains,

no peace of mind

I slumped onto a nearby rock

And tried to cure my writer's block

I pondered and mused about what to write

But found no clarity with steel in sight

It wasn't fair to have come all this way

To a sightless sky

on a smog drenched day

A Robin flew past

in a hurried flutter

I'd swear I heard him softly mutter

'No matter how high you climb my dear

You'll always be faced with cluttered frontier

 what you learn on the journey

means the most in the end,

And the hills in life you must transcend"

I thought this bird was awfully nice,

To take time to give a stranger advice

As I waved goodbye, I blinked twice to see,

A tiny nest cradled in a nearby tree

Two monstrous skyscrapers stood at its' sides

And yet this tree grew grandly with beauteous pride

I knew then what she meant as I began to write

Of a girl whose world seemed suddenly bright

- Ashley Ratcliffe -